Cristian Arguelles Baseball Cards

Look at this kid posing like he's about to crush a 500-foot bomb when his "resume" is literally going 1-for-1 on steal attempts in rookie ball. That batting stance screams "I'm gonna strike out looking at a curveball in the dirt," and the way he's gripping that bat tells me he's never seen a major league fastball in his life. Colorado's got him in their fancy purple uniform like he's already made it – wake me up when he gets past Single-A, kid.